God did not give me polio. God did not rob me of a life better lived in not protecting me from polio. God gave a son with polio the best mother to bear the cross of polio with and for me.
Just look at this photograph of Mom and Dad in the Spring of 1942. Just newlyweds. Mom 19. Dad 22. So much joy. Just a few months later Dad would leave to serve in WWII in Italy. Little did Mom know whether Dad would return alive. She did not know she would not see him again for more than four years. Can you imagine the hole Dad’s absence caused my mom? Or the vacuum left in the wake of the loss of their first child later that year?
I can easily look back. I can describe how polio changed my life forever. Today, for some unknown reason, I have been thinking about how polio changed the course of my mother Lucile’s life. Faced with the reality of the possible death of her once healthy son, her loss was filled with many things. Endless daily and nightly prayers for me. Praying for me when I was quarantined in the hospital. Praying for me for years during my recovery and rehabilitation. Finding the best doctors, braces, clothes, surgeons, physical therapists, and teachers to give me the best chance to be happy and succeed in work and life. From the day of my birth to 23 years of age she sacrificed and served as God’s greatest gift of motherhood to me.
At age 23 Dorothy and I were married. Two weeks later I left Houston to attend the University of Texas School of Law. Prior to moving out of the only home I had lived in for 23 years, Mom had managed every detail including providing underwear, orthopedic shoes, braces, handkerchiefs and even the comforting flannel pajamas from the legendary Height’s department store, Kaplan’s Ben Hur. She nursed me when I was sick. When I was bedridden for many months in sickness or after seven orthopedic surgeries, Mom, without complaint, discharged innumerable, unpleasant, and inconvenient bedpan and urinal duties as only a saint would do.
The day arrived to move to Austin. Mom, with Dad’s help, packed my bags, furniture, and the minimal belongings. They loaded them into the back of the yellow U-Haul truck. At our apartment in Austin, the U-Haul truck was unloaded, the moving boxes unpacked, and the drawers and kitchen cabinets organized. Mom gave me a big hug. She and Dad got in the truck. The engine started. The truck pulled away and out of sight. What Mom had physically done for me for the last 23 years was left behind. All her time, worry, planning, and care of me stopped. Another angel, my wife, Dorothy, would now do what Mom had always done for me.
A big hole was left in Mom’s life. She had lovingly and beautifully done all she could have for her son. Now, Mom had to fill the hole left in her heart when I left her. How many of you, moms and dads, have experienced that same void when your child has left for college, gotten married, moved out of the house, or relocated to another city to pursue a career? Worse, your child died or suffered a catastrophic illness? Your devoted mother or father die?
How do you fill that hole? What things do you do to cope with the vacuum left with loss? Some fill it with anger. Others with booze. Recreational drugs or retail spending. Some just crawl in the hole and give up. Life is too overwhelming. This prayer invites you or someone you know to follow my mother’s footsteps. Her example.
Due to her faith in God and in the power of prayer, Mom continued to pray as she always had done. That did not change. What did change? All the time and physical energy she had expended on me were no longer needed. Mom’s newfound time enabled her to give much more time and love to her younger sons, Gary and Russell. To serve on the Altar Guild at St. Francis. To meet every Thursday morning in church with the Ladies Prayer Group. Each week to fold the next Sunday’s Service Leaflets. In such giving to others and so much more, God filled the hole in her heart with His abundant healing love.
God has spoken in Scripture about this.
Psalm 32:7-9
Therefore, all the faithful will make their prayers to you in time of trouble;
when the great waters overflow, they shall not reach them.
You are my hiding-place; you preserve me from trouble;
you surround me with shouts of deliverance.
“I will instruct you and teach you in the way that you should go;
I will guide you with my eye.”
Let us pray.
Dear God, something happened in my life which is a great loss to me. I do not know how to fill the hole left in my heart. In my faith in You I know You can fill the emptiness which robs me of joy and happiness.
God, in prayer please lead me down the healthy healing path.
God, please help me serve my needs by serving others in Your holy name.
God, rather than turning away from what I need to do, please help me to turn to see Your face. May I put all my trust in You to make me whole in Your eyes. May You fill my loss with Your overflowing beautiful, exquisite, and never-failing love. Amen
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If you think Jack’s prayer helps you or will help someone you know, please forward it to them. Jack may never make millions selling books or writing prayers, but spreading God’s good news to others is reward enough for him.
Ann Boland, Jack’s Publicist
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