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Prayer for Divine Mercy in Life, Love, and Marriage – November 20, 2022

November 21, 2022 by Jack Emmott Leave a Comment

Photo credit: sermoninthepocket.podbean.com

When I was a baby lawyer back in the 1900s, I was trained to zealously fight to win victory for my clients in court. I wanted to litigate, show off my courtroom skills, and get justice for the husbands, fathers, wives, and mothers I represented. There is an important role litigation lawyers, including me, have in resolving disputes between others. I am proud of the many trial lawyers at Gray Reed and my countless friends in Houston and around the State of Texas who dedicatedly, professionally, and honorably serve their clients in court.

In divorce and child custody matters, when mediation fails to reach a settlement, litigation is essential to end the conflict. In divorce sometimes one or both parties need a judge or jury to tell them what they need to hear. However, I have often seen the damage caused to the relationship between parents by litigating and the collateral harm suffered by their children. For over 20 years in my collaborative divorce practice, I have been given another tool to help couples with the assistance of a team of highly trained professionals find peace, do no further harm, and end their marriages with civility, dignity, and respect.

My views on winning, justice, and truth have been transformed. I still represent many clients who choose to or have no choice other than to litigate their divorces and child custody disputes. But, for me, one who is also a highly trained and experienced collaborative lawyer, I have found a very special place that at age 23 I could never have imagined at the University of Texas School of Law or envisioned as a young trial lawyer.

In that collaborative divorce space concepts other than justice and truth are important. A space where other things like relationships, forgiveness, empathy, understanding, and mercy have a place. A magical place and space where peace and hope thrive, where husbands, fathers, wives, and mothers and a highly trained team of professionals seek out and find a different kind of truth and justice, the collaborative way.

For example, I served as the collaborative divorce attorney in one case in which the husband, Phil (not his real name), and his wife, Edna,(not her real name) founded a company. After 10 years they sold the company for a sales price net of tax in the amount of $5,000,000. They had no children and no debt. At the time of divorce, the community estate was all in cash. It was a no-fault amicable divorce. Both parties were equal wage earners and in good health in their 40s. My client, Phil, thought that an equal division of the $5,000,000 was fair and equitable. Phil was upset and astounded when Edna said she would not settle for less than 51%.

After a few settlement conferences, Edna would not budge. It appeared that the collaborative divorce would become adversarial. Phil and Edna would have to hire litigation lawyers and seek justice in court. Phil asked me for one good legal reason versus a financial reason (i.e., not spending money on litigation) to agree to Edna getting more than $2,500,000. I informed Phil that there was no good legal reason to yield to Edna’s demand. With dismay, Phil said., “Why isn’t $2,500,000 enough? I said that the only reason might be “mercy”. Phil said, “What do you mean, Jack?” I replied, “Mercy is an act of compassion. It is given to another not because it is required. It is an act of grace. It is given to someone, even Edna, without regret but with a good kind heart. If you decide to do what Edna asks for, it should not be done with regret or resentment.” Phil sat there in silence for a few minutes. Then, he said, “I will do that and feel good about that for Edna.”

God has spoken in Scripture on mercy.

Psalm 89:14
Righteousness and justice are the foundation of Your throne; Mercy and truth go before Your face.

2 Corinthians 1:3–4
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.

Let us pray together.

God, when I have conflict in my relationships with others at home, at work, or in my community, please send me Your wisdom and peace.

God, in prayer please guide me by Your example to be merciful to those with whom I have disagreements and not to be self-righteous, pious, or judgmental.

God, in the resolution of my conflicts with others please lead me to the miraculous divine place where mercy, forgiveness, and peace are present. At that place, I pray that Your mercy and grace lead the way and that Heaven is brought nearer the Earth. Amen.
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If you think Jack’s prayer helps you or will help someone you know, please forward it to them. Jack may never make millions selling books or writing prayers, but spreading God’s good news to others is reward enough for him.
Ann Boland, Jack’s Publicist

Filed Under: Weekly Prayers Tagged With: Bending Angels, collaborative divorce, Jack Emmott, Prayer for Divine Mercy in Life Love and Marriage - November 20

Prayer to Forgive as God Forgave – May 1, 2022

May 1, 2022 by Jack Emmott Leave a Comment

Forgiveness is hard. I bet you know someone who wears bitterness towards someone like an additional layer of tight-fitting invisible clothing. It is unseen until resentful words are spoken or the unforgiving person makes the kind of facial expression those feelings show.

There are others who hold onto their resentments as a way to prop themselves up, to anchor themselves on the hill of self-righteousness, to shield themselves from self-examination or from processing the origin of those feelings. Such persons profess to be devout Christians and thank God in prayer for forgiving them of their sins; thus, insuring them eternal life. Yet, such persons seem oblivious to what Jesus would have them do.

These generalizations belie the fact that all Christians are flawed like you and me. That most of us struggle every day to understand, to forgive others and ourselves, and to love as Christ loves everyone including the embittered and unforgiving in our world.  Amidst those who are incapable of forgiveness, you and I see someone do a God thing, an unfathomable loving forgiving act that only a saint could perform.

As a collaborative divorce attorney, I witnessed such a moment I will never forget. Without using names or the exact details here is what happened. My client, the husband, had an addiction to secretly seek out sex partners while his wife was out of town on business. He spent thousands of dollars each year on prostitutes. He even brought the prostitutes to the marital residence to have sex with him on the bed in the couple’s master bedroom. After years of such behavior, the wife unexpectedly discovered what her husband had been doing behind her back. She was shocked and devastated by her husband’s betrayal and breach of trust. To others, this couple had it all together. They were successful and well-respected in their community and their church.

At our first collaborative divorce meeting with the couple and the attorneys, I was very apprehensive as to what my client’s wife would say to her husband. How could she even sit in the same room with him? How could she talk respectfully to him? You could’ve cut the tension in the room with a butter knife.

Then, the God thing happened. The wife looked into her husband’s eyes. She said,” Right now I am angry at you. I am bitter. I want to get revenge for what you have done to me. How could you have done this? Did it ever concern you of the horrible example you have set for our kids? However, I am going to treat you in the divorce as Jesus would. It will take time. I need space from you. I know you are ill. You have an addiction. Jesus would not treat someone who is sick with bitterness but with love and forgiveness. I pray that you seek professional help for your addiction. I have said my peace. Now, let’s get on with the divorce as best we can.”

The husband as well as myself and the other lawyer were wet-eyed. We had witnessed almost what could be described as a miracle. God’s forgiveness saves us from death. Our forgiveness of others and ourselves enables us to live and love more richly and deeply in our fallible frail lives. This God thing is part of the Easter message, isn’t it?

The power of the wife’s forgiveness coupled with her husband getting help resulted in an amicable and peaceable divorce. The parties have remained friends and great co-parents of the children for many years after this powerful exhibition of forgiveness.

God has spoken to us in Scripture about forgiveness.

Proverbs 17:9
Love prospers when a fault is forgiven but dwelling on it separates close friends.

Colossians 1:13-14
He has delivered us from the power of darkness and conveyed us into the kingdom of the Son of His love, in whom we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins.

Let us pray together.

Dear God, when I am living each day of the blessed life You have given me, I am sometimes overwhelmed by feelings of resentment toward another. These bitter feelings are as close to me as the clothes I wear. Resentment separates me from others who need my mindful, loving presence.

God, in Your mercy, please help me to give up my resentments and heal through your generous grace. In that way, may I love others more deeply and be more present to serve them in the glory of Your name.

Dear God, in prayer please silence the bitterness in me for a wrong that should have been forgiven long ago. Because You forgave Mankind for our sins, I pray You can show me the way to forgive others as well as myself for the wrongs I have done. Amen

If you like this prayer, please share. 

If you want to purchase for yourself or a friend a copy of Bending Angels: Living Messengers of God’s Love or Prayerful Passages: Asking God’s Help in Reconciliation, Separation or Divorce, please click here to go to Amazon.

Jack H. Emmott is a Senior Counsel of Gray, Reed & McGraw, LLP, a 145-lawyer full-service firm in Houston, Dallas, and Waco, Texas, a Board-Certified Family Law and Master Credentialed Collaborative Law Professional Divorce Attorney, Mediator, Author, Entrepreneur, and Inspirational Speaker.  For more information about Jack or his latest book, Bending Angels: Living Messengers of God’s Love, go to the Bending Angel website.

Filed Under: Weekly Prayers Tagged With: Bending Angels, collaborative divorce, Jack Emmott, Prayer to Forgive as God Forgave - May 1

Prayer for the Triune God to Govern the Triune Brain – May 6, 2018

May 6, 2018 by Jack Emmott Leave a Comment

Holy God – At a Pauline Tesler Training in New Orleans, I recently explored how the Triune Brain You created in me and all Your children operates to shape, direct, protect, preserve and help us to live in community with others.

I learned the Triune Brain You gifted humankind has three parts.  At the floor of our brains is the so-called Primal or Reptilian Brain. When triggered, the Reptilian Brain causes us to be aggressive, to fight, take flight or play dead. Above the Reptilian Brain is The Limbic Brain. The Limbic Brain provides us the ability to love, to care for others and live in community with one another. Above the Limbic Brain is the Neo-Cortex which enables us to think, to plan and act in a rational and logical way.

As a Collaborative Divorce Attorney I see the scars caused in troubled marriages by mean looks, harsh words and abuse resulting from fear, anger, betrayal and breach of trust. At those emotionally charged moments the Neo-Cortex or Thinking Brain has gone entirely offline. The Reptilian Brain is completely in charge and not You and Your peace.  At those times Your children are at their worst and commit grievous wrongs against You and others. At such moments modern science reports it takes women about 20 minutes and men about 40 minutes to relax and regain the use of the Neo-Cortex, the thinking part of their brains.

Almighty and merciful God, at those times when our Reptilian Brains are in charge, I pray that You draw us to be with You and Your love in prayer. For in prayer we and our Triune Brains will reconnect with and be governed by You, The Triune One, the Father the Son and the Holy Ghost.  Amen.

If you like this prayer, please share.

Jack H. Emmott is a Senior Counsel of Gray, Reed & McGraw, LLP, a 120-lawyer full service firm in Houston, Texas, a Board-Certified Family Law and Master Credentialed Collaborative Law Professional Divorce Attorney, Mediator, Author, Entrepreneur and Inspirational Speaker.  For more information about Jack or his latest book, Bending Angels: Living Messengers of God’s Love, go to the Bending Angel website.

Filed Under: Weekly Prayers Tagged With: collaborative divorce, Jack Emmott, Triune Brain, Triune God

Prayer to Find God During Divorce – March 24, 2018

March 24, 2018 by Jack Emmott Leave a Comment

Dear God – I realize that litigated divorce focuses on blame and taking advantage of the weaknesses and imperfections of others. As a collaborative divorce attorney, I help couples focus on solutions and strengths at a very difficult time.  I am grateful to be a member of a highly trained team of legal, financial and parenting professionals who empower couples to reach peaceable settlements which meet their individual and shared interests, goals and concerns and which protect their children from harm.

God, in my peacemaking and in service to You and my clients, please help me to assure them that You are always present for everyone in the process of divorce.

May Your light shine in the darkness of divorce so that the couples we serve can find You.

Collaborative divorce professionals, like me, use interest-based negotiation techniques to reach settlements. There is give and take, bargaining and compromise in the process. But, as my Brother in Christ, The Rev. Canon John W. Newton, wisely said in a sermon, You, our God, do not engage in interest-based negotiation with Your children. You do not bargain with us. Your holy presence and love are unconditional gifts to everyone as part of Your grace.

To those divorcing couples who are gravely troubled that they are breaking their covenant with You, please let them know one inexhaustible part of Your redemption–though sadly their marriages come and go, Your love is forever.  Amen

If you like this prayer, please share.

Jack H. Emmott is a Senior Counsel of Gray, Reed & McGraw, LLP, a 120-lawyer full service firm in Houston, Texas, a Board-Certified Family Law and Master Credentialed Collaborative Law Professional Divorce Attorney, Mediator, Author, Entrepreneur and Inspirational Speaker.  For more information about Jack or his latest book, Bending Angels: Living Messengers of God’s Love, go to the Bending Angel website.

Filed Under: Weekly Prayers Tagged With: Bending Angels, collaborative divorce, Jack Emmott, prayer to find God in divorce, Rev. Canon John W. Newton

About Jack H. Emmott

Jack H. Emmott

I am a polio survivor. The fact that I suffered paralysis at the age of six is, in some ways, unimportant. Bad things happen to everyone. Viewed differently...

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